Don't Stand So Close To Me

I am reading a deliciously good book; one that has me grinning as I turn the page and wondering what could possibly happen next or when these idiots are going to get caught. I can't help but feel that this is the kind of book that I could write myself, if I had any knowledge of scandalous love affairs in New York City. I'm embarrassed to be enjoying it because it's not a classic or enlightening. So embarrassed in fact that I am thankful it's on my ipad so that I don't have to hide the cover on my bus rides; though I do still shield the screen from wandering eyes. The point of this is to say that on a gloomy, cold, rainy day in San Francisco I was looking forward to eating lunch at my desk and then locating a soft, comfortable reading chair somewhere with a hot tea to lose myself in Rachel and Dex's dramatic lives for what surely be a swift hour.

I try Tulley's coffee right by the office. Their chairs are less comfortable than my desk chair. I try Peet's Coffee and Tea (because it smells divine) only to realize that there are zero places to sit - forget comfortable! So I head to the old reliable Starbucks and resign myself to the fact that I'll have to get comfortable with bench seating next to two men having the typical "can I meet you for coffee to discuss my career" conversation and a woman chatting away into those ubiquitous white iphone headphones. Rachel, Darcy, Hillary and Dex beckon. I settle in with my medium vanilla latte and fire up the ipad.

Dreams squashed. Apparently I am much more approachable than people tell me. A young man, we'll call him Alex (because that's his name) sat down and without so much as a glance from me starting asking me questions. How are you? What do you do? How did you get interested in that? Are you the only girl in the office? Do you have plans this weekend? I promise, to all those readers out there who may be excited for a potential love interest in my life that they would not have entertained this particular option. Honest Promise. How do I exit the conversation gracefully? Here is how that exchange went down:

Me: I'm really interested in this book and only have a few minutes before I get back to work
Alex: Oh how great! An engineer that loves to read!
Me: Yep. (I'm half wanting to tell him that I am engrossed in chick lit but don't want to engage)
Alex: That's just so rare. What are your favorite books?
Me: All of them but maybe the one I'm trying to read now.
Alex: No, really. Pick one. I'll buy you a cupcake if we have the same one.
Me: I don't really want a cupcake but To Kill a Mockingbird or Monkey Wrench Gang
Alex: What are the chances? Me too! Chocolate, vanilla or red velvet?

Lunch time book diversion: Fail. Possible new friend in the city: Fail. Graceful exit: Fail. You can't make that stuff up my friends.