Quiet Confidence

Tonight I made dinner for BML and the babes while watching them hunt for bugs in the backyard and then took off for the bookstore and some alone time.  I forget often my need to be alone, for quiet.  My life is so noisy these days, a noise that I can't and won't change, the squeal of laughter followed by screams of pain as playtime turns into bite time, but I forget that I need to hear the quiet voice inside my head.  The only place I could think of to go and spend too much money on a cup of coffee and sit and read and write and think was the bookstore.  I found myself wandering with a hot cup running my hands over all of the new books, watching the people and conversations they were having, spending too long in the toy section wondering what the kids would enjoy the most, and then I realized how diligent you really do have to be to be alone.  I found a spot in the crowded cafe....next time I will be on the lookout for a less popular hangout - though I loved being surrounded by the books - and just started writing.  Writing and praying to be inspired. For my soul to awaken with curiosity and a driven desire to do what my God is requiring of me, for the confidence to believe in myself and the desire in my heart, for the courage to not sell myself short or downplay my abilities or offerings.

Backtrack.  On the way to the bookstore I downloaded the newest podcast of This American Life ( i think it was a rerun from 10 years ago) called Notes on Camp.  Both my mom and husband listen to this podcast regularly and both sent me a note to tell me how much I needed to listen.  I loved it.  Anyone who has ever gone to camp should listen, it speaks the truth.  There is no place on Earth like camp.  At camp, I felt like myself all the time.  Free, thoughtful, adventurous, quiet and soft spoken, loud and extroverted, it was wonderful all of the time.  I find myself often wanting to go back to that place, wanting that for my kids.  And so part of my prayer at the bookstore was that there would be an opportunity that would open for me to give back to camp, to be involved again, to stir up the adventure that was always in store at camp.  It always seemed to me that God was bigger there in the wide open air, in the wet grass, those damp cabins, the deafening waterfall - I want to find that place again.  It's quiet there.

I prayed, and wrote, and I don't find myself to be a great pray-er so I'm glad I brought The Book of Common Prayer (growing up Episcopalian suits me) and found myself pouring over the prayers all laid out for you in the back of the book.

For Quiet Confidence:
O God of peace, who hast taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and in confidence shall be our strength: By the might of the Spirit lift us, we pray thee, to thy presence, where we may be still and know that thou art God; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

Maybe for now, I can't live in the mountains of Tuxedo, NC, and I'm not nine anymore.  But I can still make time to return to the quiet and rest, and be revived, and find the joy in my common life. "Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him." Psalm 62:5.

For Parents:
Almighty God, giver of life and love, bless these parents.  Grant them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy.  And so knit their wills together in your will and their spirits in your spirit, that they may live together in love and peace all the days of their life; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

My sister had a meeting yesterday with an old/new friend, who is the parent of one of my old campers years and years ago.  I met her when she was nine and homesick...I hear she's addicted to camp now too, it has this way of sticking to your soul.  Something will come of this, somehow I will find a way to mesh my desire for community in camp, for quietness and rest, and the joyful noise in my home.  I welcome prayers & ideas & encouragement.  Also, mom, as a side note, I think I'll reach for the Book of Common Prayer more often.  Or plaster the prayers all over our home.  Last one.

For the Good Use of Leisure:
Oh God, in the course of this busy life, give us times of refreshment and peach, and grant that we may so use our leisure to rebuild our bodies and renew our minds, that our spirits may be opened to the goodness of your creation; through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.

Some of my goals after tonight are to go to the woods - or something that can remind me of that space I cherished, to be quiet.  To get in touch with old friends for ideas on how to get involved in camp given my limited time and resources.  Listen to MY music, Bonnie Raitt, Eva Cassidy, Patty Griffin and less kids music (though I am enjoying the Kingdom Rock VBS songs that P makes me play over and over again.)  Read more, watch less T.V.  Stop reading if I am not enjoying a book.  Take time for me - intentional time for me.

All in all, it was a good night.  I feel rejuvenated to tackle tomorrow.  I'll let you know how the camp things turns out.  And while my kids are a huge part of my life, they shouldn't consume my whole life...so there are no updates or pictures here :) Next time.

Sweet Summertime

I thought about going back to my last blog and reading what I wrote so that I could catch the 28 of you up - but that would waste about 20 minutes which is my allotted time for blogging.  And generally I blog with my calendar in front of me so that I can try to remember our comings and goings, but that's not happening either.  But you know what is coming HManifold??? A home tour!!  Sort of...you'll get pictures of the rooms I have taken pictures of.  It is taking a while, because lets be honest, who in the world has a clean house all at one time?? Certainly not us.

But first...confessions.  And bullet lists.  Why not?

• On occasion BML is out of town, or has meetings in the evening that turn into happy hours that go well into the night - and while I miss him... I really love catching up on my liberal talk shows. Oh how I love The Rachel Maddow show.  It's true.  Sorry to disappoint some of you, but I just can't hold it in any longer.  I watched the one with Wendy Davis in Texas and the recent Supreme Court rulings.  I even shed a tear or two.  It was awesome.

• The kids carseats are disgusting.  How do they even get so gross?? What happens back there?  Most of the time I really don't think I want to know, and I know that it's my fault for basically throwing things back there at them so they won't fight each other.  And it doesn't help that everyone brings something into the car and I am the only one that takes anything out.

• Recently, lots of my people have been going on trips.  Which meant a couple weeks ago I headed to and from the airport kind of a lot.  I actually found myself really enjoying the trip - particularly the picking people up part - I love living in Florida for that reason, that I get to be my people's airport pickups instead of them always picking me up.  Plus the cell phone isn't a bad place to spend a quiet 20 minutes.  Once though I drove Aunt T's car and she had an Avett brothers CD in there - I am so rarely in tune with good music these days so P and I enjoyed the new tunes.

• We have been swimming A LOT.  My parents have a salt water pool now which I am pretty thankful for, otherwise my kids would have completely green hair.  And even little L is learning to swim...as in she jumps in by herself or just launches herself off of the steps so you better be ready to catch her - and P since he usually comes barreling in right behind her.  It's the only way to spend the hot hot afternoons this summer.  And popsicles - we eat a lot of popsicles.

• I recently read a book I think titled The Year of Biblical Womanhood - which I thought was pretty funny most of the time but it made several mentioned of another book Radical Homemaking.  This book was on my to-read list on my phone that I never access so I checked it out of the library one time. I returned it without coming even close to finishing it because I quickly realized that since I couldn't sew, didn't have the time, patience, or energy to grow all of my own food and then can it - among other things.  I did however, start making my own laundry detergent which mostly cleans our clothes when I remember to put them in the dryer (or else we walk around all week smelling of mildew...this has happened several times, its disgusting).  But I'm having a stain problem with the kids clothes...back to the drawing board....which means buying stain remover.  No biggie.  Trying to cut down on the budget you know.  

• I think little L would prefer to be raised by her Yay Yay.  She was most distraught when Yay Yay and Granddad were on vacation for a couple of weeks and were no where to be found when we went swimming.  When we picked them up from the airport both kids insisted Yay Yay sit in between their carseats and L hung on for dear life the whole ride home.  For the next several days she was hysterical whenever Yay Yay would leave...Don't go again Yay Yay! She's just getting used to having you back in town!

• I love summer.  Love summer.  I love the 4th of July.  I hope that FTD might blog a little about it - because while I can find the pictures, it'll take me forever but I'll try to include some here.  We are carrying on the neighborhood tradition of a parade - bring your own decorated float which consisted this year of strollers, radio flyers, bikes, & wagons.  We had grandparents, parents, kids, neighbors, aunts, & dogs all stopping traffic around the lake.  We ended the parade with popcorn, popsicles & capri suns - it was awesome.  It also was a looooooong time until fireworks.  Sweet L fell asleep in my arms that night which has never happened in her life.  Good times.

Thats all I have from here friends!  Just kidding.  I'm pregnant.  Yep, baby #3 is on the way!  Most of the 18 of you knew this already I think.  I'm due Jan. 2nd which makes me 16 weeks today I am pretty sure!  Yikes, its hard to keep track.  So probably the guest room which I will show you in a minute will give way to a new baby room, but for now we'll plan on keeping the little one in with us for a bit and then decide if the kids will share a room or if we'll wait on that for a little while.  I'm feeling pretty good these days, tired, but nothing out of the ordinary.  Everytime I ask P if he wants a brother or a sister he responds with "What's a brother?" and "Two, there's two of them!"  Needless to say, we are also now in the market for a new car....BML can't wait to be a minivan family.  I'm in denial about it - but come December I am sure there will be one in our driveway.

Lastly, pictures...because I am too tired to put them next to their bullet point and some may have nothing to do with this post at all...it is what it is...my babes and our house :)  Until next time...in September :)

The house:

Lovely Lucy's room:

Precious Peter's room:

The kitchen:

Living Room / TV / Playroom:

Desk wall :) :

"Sitting room" --> P calls it the talking place, just inside the front door

Kids bathroom:

Clearly we are missing the laundry room, guest room, master bed and bath.  Whoops.  Thought I took pictures, but I didn't.

And now pictures of what we have been up to the last few months!

L finding it difficult to ride in the grass that P pushed her into

7:15am.  It has been raining for 7 days.

T and P on a toddler walk

L being L

P loves water / sand  toys

P leading L gently through the overpass at the science center

silly face

loving our new sunglasses at yay yay and granddads

The last few are some of my favorites since they are of Uncle RBDIII visiting us in his helicopter!  Awesome adventure.

pictures from my phone:

L and her favorite friend Pax

Mr. Conductor is pumped about his train and the forest he built.

The water is freezing, but L will not be deterred.  We're at the Pancake House at Deleon Springs.

This is not a bad way to spend your afternoon.  

This, on the otherhand, is more strenuous.

and here, I've have basically given up for the day.  Look at how much fun they are having!

Some friends invited us to the beach for the day - it was overcast the whole time, but the kids didn't care a bit.

Pool time at the beach.

She does whatever he does - no matter what it is.

Hooray for the 4th of July!

Until next time!  But I promise, at least 2 more times before the baby arrives! :)  Side note: This actually did take me all day to write - so like all of my posts, I am not editing.  At all.  So there.

Switzerland

All:
I'm sitting in my Swiss Hotel Bed watching the BBC and avoiding packing for the time being. I mention this only because since I am posting about my travels to Switzerland, this becomes my fastest post-travel blog ever.

Let's cut to the chase: My team WON!! The whole competition! My Rollins College team of 4 students beat out MBA students from 31 other schools to become the victors of the first ever Nespresso Sustainability challenge. Talk about an excellent reward for many, many hours of hard work. Nespresso pulled out all the stops during the 3-day event. (UPDATE: Missed the window for fastest post-travel blog ever since it is now a few weeks later.)

After arriving in Geneva, Switzerland after a long flight, a Nespresso representative met me and my teammate, Morgan to give us our train tickets and a map of Lausanne so that we could direct ourselves to the hotel. Immediately I was amazed at the hospitality and friendliness of everyone we would encounter this week. Morgan and I navigated the train ride fine and walked the 5 minute walk toward the lake. Although we were desperately curious to go exploring we thought it best to nap for an hour or so while we waited for the others. Semi-well rested, we met up with the Canadian team to head out for a chocolate tasting. oh. em. gee. The Swiss do not mess around with their chocolate. Although the tasting was excellent, the best part of this adventure was the making of our own filled chocolates. I chose a dark chocolate shell, learned to make ganache (put a little whiskey in it too, mom), stuffed it with caramel & sea salt, caramel & hazelnut, whiskey ganache & chili powder, and dark chocolate ganache with candied orange. It was amazing. After the tasting, we headed back to the hotel and walked next door for a fondue dinner.

Dinner was hilariously long. The food took a while and our faces were probably priceless when we learned it would be fondue. Don't get me wrong, its not that we weren't excited about fondue, its just that we were so incredibly tired that the last thing we wanted was cheese, bread, and to cook our own meat. Still, delicious and really fun to relax with my Crummer teammates. The other teams seemed to be concerned that our "coach" hadn't arrived in Switzerland yet (we were not worried) and were way more focused on talking about sustainability aspects during dinner. My team gossiped. Like, high school gossip. It was awesome, and relaxing and just what we needed prior to the long day that lay ahead.

The morning of the event we all loaded the bus and headed to Nespresso headquarters. After a quick tour of the building and the room in which we would be delivering our presentations we headed back to the "modern building" to practice. Our first practice was horrendous. Like, really, really terrible. It was much too long, some of us forgot what we were going to say, some of our technology wasn't working. We all went into our own version of crisis management. One got angry, one micromanaged, one pretended, one fidgeted. Thankfully, things got better. After a cafeteria style lunch (and many Nespressos) we learned that our team would be presenting first. Yes! The Nespresso team led us to the older building and introduced us to the audience.

Intimidating is not a powerful enough word for people who were in attendance. See the link for a complete list of judges: http://sustainabilitymbachallenge.com/participants-guide/. Seriously, go check it out. In the midst of our presentation, we discovered that we could see our slides on the left wall, just behind the judges. You have no idea how much this made us relax for some reason. It also allowed us to showcase information we had kept in an appendix, to show just in case the judges asked the questions we thought they would. The 30 minute question and answer session seemed to go on forever and the room got hotter and hotter. Few people believe me, but I seem to have an out of body experience in these things. I rarely show how nervous I am and I often don't remember exactly what I said. Thank. Goodness. The "cocktail" party we were promised after all presentations had been finished was a little not as billed - mocktails. We just had a few more nespressos and tried to mingle as best we could. When they announced our names as winners the world revolved in slow motion. We were so shocked but managed to make our way to the stage to accept our trophies and have our picture taken. Then the gifts and congratulations just kept on coming. We gave interviews for some press materials, mingled with the judges, and kept grinning at each other like fools.

Celebrations just kept coming so I'll try to let the pictures do the talking (except the quality is pretty terrible. Will update later or just go see me on instagram). We did some exploring after the competition, got over by the lake, walked up and down the narrow and steep streets, ate crepes, bought swiss army souvenirs. Just grinned. And laughed. And Explored. It was one of the best experiences of my life. The event will culminate in a trip to Colombia set for the beginning of September. The lesson here: hard work really does pay off.