Fake Actor Laugh

If you listen to the Scott Van Pelt show on ESPN, which you probably don't, but maybe you do (who am I to judge your radio listening preferences) you would know something he calls "the fake media laugh." The FML (caps to avoid any confusion with a different, less appropriate acronym) is when a coach/player/owner says something in a press conference or interview that is mildly funny (or not funny at all) but gets quite the reaction from the press corps or interviewer. It happens a lot and it is pretty obvious.

Now I'm sure there are more instances of this, but in my recent sojourn into the acting world of LA, the Fake Actor Laugh is just as, if not more, prevalent and is exceedingly annoying. Listen folks, it was an OK joke. You can smile and give a "hah" or even a shake of the head, but a full-on belly laugh is not appropriate or acceptable. Please stop. You are not getting in the door because you laughed at dudes joke. Thanks for comin' out.

Why, you ask, does this bother me enough to constitute an entire blog post? Well it doesn't, BUT, I have been to a few things here recently where these flies laugh at everything an important person has to say (sometimes when it's not really even a joke, and then I laugh at them, which is funny- to me at least).

On my continuing "networking" journey, I signed up to do a charity walk with a big time agency. I had met the Head of the Commercial Department of this agency before at a seminar, and "tweeted" them a few times. This agent had put out there in the twitter-verse that any actor could sign up for the AIDS Walk and walk with the agency's team. At first I balked at this, thinking, "there are probably going to be a bunch of actors swarming all over the agent trying to prove how cool they are and annoying the junk out of him that he no longer will want to have a conversation with a normal person (me, of course)." Well, he tweeted again, later, that hardly any actors had signed up, and that he couldn't really understand why. I then said, to myself, "hey, you know what, I will sign up and just see how it goes." So, I did. I made a (very) modest donation and signed up.

I showed up the morning of the walk at the meet-up spot when it dawned on me: I don't know anyone that I'm supposed to meet, and there are no signs, how am I going to meet these people, I can't believe I woke up early to get here and end up walking 6 miles by myself through the streets of LA. Then I remembered, well, you know what the agent you met looks like, so just look for him. I did, no luck. Panic again. Finally, there was a sign with the agencies name on it lifted high, seemingly glowing, beckoning me to join the group. I do. There are way less people than I expected. Then the agent whom I had met shows up. I introduce myself. He recognizes me/my name from the seminar/twitter/submission. So, I felt pretty good about that. I mean, he didn't say, "oh, hey, I recognize you." But, it was pretty clear that he did.

Quick semi-sidebar: I had submitted my headshot/résumé to him after meeting at the seminar, which I ironically received a call about the day I signed up for the walk. Well, the call, which came about an hour after I had signed up, was from his assistant informing me that he wasn't interested at this time. Which I totally expected, and was pretty cool with it. Still, it's one of those things where, you're like, "I know this won't happen, but how cool would it be if it did" type things. Like when you buy a lottery ticket, or a scratch off, or get super-size fries for the monopoly pieces. Anyway, the assistant was super nice, and I was right back to him. And I much prefer getting a "no" response than no response at all. I find it very cool when people do that.

Back to the "story". I really don't want to be a fly and insert myself into this guy's world as someone who is annoying or boring or clearly just trying to talk for the sake of talking etc etc. So, I strike up a quite conversation about sports(he is a Chicago fan). We chat briefly, get interrupted, which I take in stride (literally) and move on to introducing myself to some of the other people walking (some of whom I later regret introducing myself to- really only one person, but that was a brutal 20 minute conversation). The walk continues, and I stroll in and out of conversations, a lot of which are set up by the agent saying, "Hey, have you met MD? He's only been here 6 weeks." Which led to a lot of the same conversations, but still, I felt like I had cemented myself into dude's brain. I felt good about that. I chatted for a while with his wife, and with other commercial agents who worked for him and while none of it was meeting-esque, I left with a general sense of accomplishment with the "networking" I had done. I had spent well over half the time speaking with (often one-on-one) either the head guy, or someone else who worked there. The Fake Actor Laugh came up often during the walk, which led me to chuckle to myself. Maybe everyone else is thinking "look at that fly" when I was talking to him, but I have enough confidence in my conversation ability to know that I was better at being a normal person than they were. Mainly because I'm normal, so there is that.

The walk was this past Sunday, and there was another seminar that my agent "friend" was putting on, this time with casting director Rick Pagano. Rick (we're not really on first name basis, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't read coastalbs) has cast a number of awesome things, one of which is Franklin and Bash. It's a show on TNT that I love. You can go to imdb.com and check out Rick's credits (by searching his name) and you will see, it's pretty valuable to hear what this guy has to say. While you are on imdb you can search for me, and click on my name and raise my "star meter". "Star Meter" ranks who's hot right now type of thing, and it's pretty pointless because if your ranking is high enough to matter, people already know who you are, but a lot of people really try and move their meter. Whatever. Rick Pagano.

I am pretty paranoid about being late because traffic is always bad, but you never really know how bad. So I get there about 45 minutes before the scheduled start time. My agent friend is there with his wife. I walk in, and he greets me. "Hey M, good to see you again, you remember my wife, J." I respond, "Mark, how are you? Glad to be here, of course I remember J, it was a pleasure talking with you during the walk." I then walk away and take my seat. I probably could have stayed and chatted for a while, since there were only like 4 other people there, but I didn't want to push it, and thought I'd stop while I was ahead, or at least not behind.

So, the seminar goes on, which I won't go into detail on, since the info doesn't really mean anything to you. There are some good questions, bad questions, questions that no one really knows what is being asked. Lots of FAL. It ends, I am sitting in the front, so I get up, go shake Rick's hand, saying, "Hi, Rick. I'm MD, and I just wanted to say thanks for your time and your insights, I look forward to seeing you again in the future." Boom, done. The line is already everyone long, and each person wants to have an actual conversation with the guy. I will never get that. Just say hey, thanks, and move along. I say bye and thanks to this other guy who helps put the seminars on, then move on to Mark (agent). "Mark, great seeing you again, thanks for putting these on, see you next time." I'm pretty annoyed with most everyone in the room, but seek out a couple people I had met on the walk to say hello, then exit the room feeling pretty good about my networking.

I generally do not like "networking" at all. I hate inserting myself into someones world under the guise of wanting to have a conversation, when really I am just looking for something from you. I am, however, finding a way, I think, to actually have a conversation, brief as it may be, and be memorable without being the thing that I hate. It is certainly a learning process, but I think I am okay at it now, and continue to get better at it. I just don't want to be a fly. No one likes a fly. No one.