Same kind of different in LA

A same kind of different.

That is basically what is going on with me.

Most of the time I feel like I haven't made any progress towards my goals, and at the same time am getting older. I guess that is sort of how time works. It can be disheartening to feel like everyone in your circle is in a different, more secure, place than you are -- but everyone has their struggles, even if we aren't aware of them, or something.

There are some things that I've done that, in theory, should at least better prepare me for opportunities. Mainly, my time at Second City. I started taking improv classes about two years ago, mainly in hopes of making myself more attractive to potential agents/managers. That whole process takes about 18 months, so, since you can do math, you can see that I've finished the program. I didn't get any representation out of it, but it honestly was a fulfilling experience. The last leg of the program is called Grad Revue, and it's where you and your fellow classmates write and perform and hour-long sketch show. I like to think our 6-week run was a pretty good one. It definitely took me out of my comfort zone, which is likely the whole point.

During my time moving through the Second City Conservatory, I was simultaneously going through their sketch writing program. That has a similar end-goal of producing a sketch show at the end of the program. Most of the time you, the writers, cast the show and are done once the show is up. I decided that I would also like to perform in the show, so I had to audition for my fellow writers and thankfully, they humored me. Or I was good. I don't know.

Since I was spending so much time at Second City, I decided to get paid for it. A job became available in the office, and I was hired part-time. That has grown a little bit, and I am maxing out my hours as a part-time employee. In addition, I have made some good friends in the community, which is something I am grateful for.

Oh, and I've done stand-up a few times which is something I never would have imagined actually trying. I don't think you'll see me with a special any time soon, but I do think it helps with writing, and maybe someday someone important will be catching an open mic or something.

Sticking with the comedy and part-time theme, I've recently added a second job. It's at a place called Dynasty Typewriter. Dynasty is a 200-seat theater -- the old Hayworth theater to be precise. I basically work the door and sell popcorn and stand by the back gate to let comedians in to the greenroom. It's not very sexy, but the people are cool, and I met Adam Sandler, so there's that.

I do still audition occasionally for commercials, but my booking ratio literally could not be worse. I think I get callbacks at a pretty decent rate, so at least there is a some good coming out of it. Things are pretty slow right now for everyone, which is hard to take solace in, but it's something.

One of my biggest challenges remains asking those around me for help. It's not something I am comfortable with, and I don't think it ever will be. I have done a little bit of asking, and nothing has come of it, which can make it harder to ask the next person. But, that's the world I live in, so I would do well to get used to it.

Something I actually am a little bit proud of is completing a pilot. I took a writing class a while ago that was focused on writing a spec. A 'spec' is an episode of a show that already exists(the show exists, not the episode. You write this made-up episode.) My teacher allegedly didn't think it was terrible, so that gave me a little bit of confidence to try to write more and to potentially ask people to read what I write. So, I wrote an original pilot. To completion. I mean, there are still improvements that could be made, but it has a beginning, middle, and end. Now, if only I could do that more often and send it to industry friends to read and maybe get a job or something from it. We shall see.

It's a good thing though. It's a step. It's moving forward in a positive direction.

It's getting more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

It's a wholly different kind of different -- and it's good.